


we’re looking for something dumb to do

by angelica_barnes



Series: ABC [13]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Asexual Jughead Jones, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, My terrible attempts at humor, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is what happens, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i don't even watch this show and i'm sorry, i hope this makes you happy, i've never written something entirely happy in my entire life, marry you by bruno mars, this is entirely happy, when i listen to that song too many times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: alternatively titled: that one where jughead, archie, and veronica nearly give betty a heart attack by dragging her to las vegas against her willENJOY!!!





	we’re looking for something dumb to do

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Marry You" by Bruno Mars (you can blame everything on this song and again i am very sorry)
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

**I love being married.**

**it’s so great to find that one special person**

**you want to annoy for the rest of your life.**

**\- Rita Rudner**

  
  


Betty starts to regret this rash decision pretty much as soon as Archie turns the key in the ignition. Jughead is smiling and sharing glances with Veronica, so wherever they’re headed is probably not at all what Betty signed up for.

But what the hell. She can’t turn back now.

-

Vegas.

Fucking  _ Vegas _ .

Jughead looks entirely too smug about this, Veronica is smiling in that evil way that she does right before she does something really  ~~ stupid ~~ reckless, and Archie is grinning so much Betty’s afraid he’ll either blind someone or break his own face.

“Vegas?” She squeaks, and three pairs of eyes turn on her. She swallows. “Fucking  _ Vegas _ ?”

Jughead’s lips curl into an amused smirk. “Yeah, Betts. Fucking Vegas.”

Betty thinks she might faint.

-

“So what do y’all wanna do?” Veronica asks, hand sweaty and warm in Betty’s (okay, maybe Betty is the one who’s sweating, but she’s in fucking  _ Vegas _ okay, you can’t blame her). “I got a full credit card and four fake I.D.’s in my purse.”

Betty can’t feel her legs.

Archie starts throwing out the names of a bunch of bars while Veronica shoots out one casino after another, and Betty squeezes her eyes shut, half-convinced this is all a dream and that if she ignores it long enough, she’ll wake up.

Jughead’s voice breaks through the argument, clear and deadpan as ever.

“We could get married.”

Betty’s eyes snap open and suddenly they’re all staring at Jughead, who’s smirking and staring back at Archie with a challenge in his eyes.

Archie steps closer, flustered, a bright blush on his cheeks and his eyes wide and hopeful. He runs a hand through his hair and whispers, “What - what’d you say, Juggie?”

Betty holds her breath, Veronica leaning forward in anticipation, and Jughead grins. He grabs Archie by the front of his shirt and kisses him hard, quick, and when they break apart, he only keeps  _ maybe _ three inches of space between their mouths.

Archie stares, wide-eyed, and Jughead licks his lips and smiles.

“I said  _ marry me _ , dumbass.”

Archie doesn’t move at all for a minute.

Two.

Three.

He suddenly surges forward and starts peppering kisses all over Jughead’s face, the latter laughing and squirming in Archie’s arms.

“Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes…”

Veronica claps and screeches in excitement, and Betty sees white dots in her vision.

“Oh dear god,” she murmurs, and faints right into Veronica’s waiting arms.

-

Turns out Archie is an impatient groom. As soon as Betty comes to, she’s tugged into a sprint by Veronica, following closely behind Jughead and Archie, whose hands are clasped as they laugh over nothing. Betty’s never felt whatever this is before - hysterical? Overwhelmed? Slightly dropped off the edge of insanity?

Maybe the last one.

Veronica’s hands are covered in rings, Betty notices, and can’t help but feel like there could be more on her left hand, maybe a diamond or two.

Yeah, it’s definitely the last one.

-

Veronica’s fake I.D.’s come in handy, what with them being sixteen and the law saying they either have to be eighteen or get consent from an adult (yeah, right. Betty doubts their parents even know they’re not at home, let alone getting illegally married in fucking  _ Vegas _ ).

Betty’s ansty, fidgeting while Veronica flirts with the cashier for a discount and Jughead and Archie ignore her in favor of putting on a gross display of rare public affection in the corner (hands and lips and heart eyes, oh my  ~~_ god _ ~~ ). She wonders if she could really ask that of Veronica, then remembers that Jughead asked Archie basically out of nowhere, then realizes that Jughead and Archie have probably known they were gonna marry each other since the moment they met (which, she might add, was when they were three and had never heard the word ‘marriage’ before).

When Veronica sits down beside her, Betty laces their fingers together on the armrest, and when Veronica leans over to kiss her cheek, Betty turns her head at the last minute so their lips brush.

“Wanna be stupid tonight too?” She murmurs, which  ~~ probably ~~ definitely isn’t the most romantic thing she could’ve said, but it makes Veronica smile, wide and beautiful.

“I do,” she whispers, like it’s their little secret, and Betty laughs into her ~~girlfriend’s~~ _fiance’s_ mouth.

-

Veronica and Betty get front row seats at Jughead and Archie’s wedding, which makes Betty feel quite special, despite the fact that there is literally  _ no one else _ in the audience. The minister seems a little confused as to why these kids in T-shirts and skinny jeans are standing in front of him, but it’s not his job to ask questions so he just does his best to ignore it. (It’s very endearing. Betty makes a mental note to slip him a hefty tip from Veronica’s wallet later.)

Archie waits at the end of the aisle, because for some reason Jughead wanted to walk down it, and it’s only when Archie starts laughing that the girls turn around and see why.

Jughead’s walking down the aisle with a smirk and a veil tucked under his crown beanie, holding a bouquet of wilting red roses wrapped in black lace. He seems overly proud of himself for this, but Betty’s gonna let him have it because it’s his wedding day (oh my  _ god _ ).

Jughead throws the flowers behind him as soon as he reaches the altar and they land in Veronica’s arms with a soft rustle. She smiles and Betty twines her fingers through her bride’s, fingering the petals of a rose with her other hand.

Archie reaches out for Jughead’s hands and Jughead lets him take them, barking out a laugh when he sees Archie’s eyes tear up.

“Come on, Archibald, I’ve been holding your hand since we were five.”

Archie just grins and leans forward to kiss Jughead’s nose, which he wrinkles in mock disgust. The poor minister looks very confused.

He clears his throat and says, “Yes, well. Have either of you prepared vows?”

-

Archie and Jughead’s vows are very, well, Archie and Jughead.

Jughead starts, offering up the profound romantic words that every person wants to hear on their wedding day: “I never thought I’d find somebody that I actually wanted to spend the rest of my stupidly short life with, but I’m happy to say that if I’m ever murdered I want them to tell you first.”

Complete silence fills the space, Betty’s eyes wide and Veronica’s jaw halfway to the floor. The minister looks like he’d be less lost in a maze, and Archie is just staring at Jughead with a mix of wonder, fondness, and absolute adoration in his eyes.

He blinks.

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more,” he blurts, making Jughead smile (and blush, but Betty wants to live to marry Veronica so she’s not gonna mention it). “I cannot honestly say that there’s someone else I’d ever willingly watch Quinten Tarantino movies with.”

Jughead beams. Archie grins back like he’s just gotten a puppy for Christmas, and the minister seems to have blown a brain chip or two. Betty feels everything inside her melt, and Veronica squeezes her hand, clearly feeling the same way.

Jughead breaks the silence by clearing his throat and then saying very seriously, “Thank you for never fucking me.”

The minister breaks into a coughing fit and Jughead smirks, never looking away from Archie (who hasn’t stopped grinning).

“My right hand’s pleasure,” he says solemnly, and then turns to the minister. “Can we kiss now?”

The minister just waves his hand, bent over and red in the face, and Archie turns back to Jughead and cups his face in his hands, leaning in for the kiss that will seal them together for forever.

Jughead kisses him back with a grin while the girls cheer in the background and in that moment, Betty’s not sure she’s ever seen them happier.

-

The minister manages to recover with some water and distance from Jughead, who’s too busy laughing in the corner with his new husband to pay the heaving man any attention. Betty rubs the minister’s back and apologizes a million times over, which he dismisses with the sentiment that he’s happy to see the newlyweds happy, even if they cause him a heart attack in becoming so.

Betty then takes Veronica’s hands and drags her up to the altar. Jughead and Archie immediately shut up and scramble to settle in the seats that Betty and Veronica had occupied not two minutes ago. At Veronica’s raised eyebrows, Jughead nods and waves his hands in a shooing gesture, like  _ go on _ .

Betty giggles nervously and holds Veronica’s hands a little tighter, who only offers a reassuring smile and squeezes back. The minister’s voice is scratchy when he starts up again, but the normalcy of it all seems to settle him.

“Have either of you prepared -” he coughs into his hand, “vows?”

Jughead snickers in his seat and Archie nudges him in the side, the two of them then dissolving into a  _ who can jab the other in the most ticklish spot _ fight until Veronica shouts, “Boys!”

They both look up at her, (only slightly) ashamed, and mumble, “Sorry, Ronnie,” slightly out of unison. She just smiles at them and turns back to Betty, clearing her throat.

“Betty,” she starts, voice softening into something Betty feels only she’s supposed to hear, “you make me a better person when I’m with you. Instead of a stone cold rich bitch, I’m just a rich bitch with you, and I appreciate that every day that passes by where I’m allowed to kiss you.”

Betty blushes, smiling, and squeezes Veronica’s hands. “When you first came to Riverdale, I was just the shy, pining goody-two-shoes and you were the mysterious new girl that every guy wanted to date and every girl wanted to be. I know that I wasn’t the nicest to you and that you were, as you say, a stone cold rich bitch, but I’ve never been as alive with anyone as I am with you.”

She takes a deep breath.

“Thank you for being a mystery, and for letting me solve you.”

Veronica grins, untangling their fingers to cup Betty’s face and peck her lips, murmuring, “Of course, beautiful.”

When they pull back, smiling, the minister clears his throat, asking, “Do you ladies agree to love each other through all of life’s challenges and obstacles, till death do you part?”

Veronica licks her lips, eyes locked on Betty’s. “Longer.”

Betty smiles, tearing up. “For always.”

The minister ahems again, folding his hands in front of him and stepping back, “You may kiss the bride.”

Veronica leans in, but Betty beats her to it, pulling Veronica in by the hips and kissing her hard, Veronica’s arms coming up to hang loosely around Betty’s neck.

It might be Jughead and Archie that she hears screeching in the background, but she can’t be sure, because as soon as Veronica’s lips touch hers, the entire world disappears.

-

The drive back home is loud and bright, all of them laughing and buzzing with chatter and cheap beer. Jughead hasn’t taken the veil out from under his beanie, and Betty’s face is covered in stains from Veronica’s lipstick. Archie and Jughead’s hands are tangled together over the console, Jughead turned towards Archie in his seat and laughing at something Archie’s said. Veronica’s arms are around Betty as the latter leans into her side, smiling softly at the sun rising ahead of them on the road.

“I regretted this, y’know,” Betty mumbles. “Thought it was a bad idea as soon as Archie started the car.”

“Hmm?” Veronica hums into Betty’s hair, eyes closed and chest rising slowly beneath Betty’s head.

“Yeah,” Betty says softly, playing with her wife’s wedding ring while she watches Archie take his eyes off the empty road for a millisecond to kiss Jughead’s lips. “Yeah, but I don’t think bad ideas have such happy endings.”

  
  


**all my life**

**I thought it’d be hard to find the one**

**til I found you.**

**\- Lukas Graham (Love Someone)**

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! :) have an amazing day <3


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